The same fears keep creeping up...

Well, it's been a crazy week. Last Friday I started feeling sick and thought it was just related to the pregnancy.. but by Saturday evening all I could do was lay in bed (we were out of town with my parents and Lyndsey at Discovery Kingdom, and they all went out to dinner but I stayed at the hotel..) By Sunday morning I knew this was more than just morning sickness, so on the way home, Seth told me he's taking me straight to the doctor when we got home... We ended up in the ER (since it was Sunday), and we were there for 6 hours, of course.. man..... by this time I was sure i had the flu, but then they diagnosed me with a urinary tract infection, which I've never had before, so that was kind of a shock. They gave me antibiotics through an IV and sent me home. Monday I was still in bed all day. Seth has been working day and night on our heater to get it up and running because the cold weather is quickly approaching.. so my mom had James for 3 nights! It was crazy! I saw the OB on Tuesday and he did an ultrasound. Dr. Sung Park is THE BEST DOCTOR! I am really happy with him. Very honest and doesn't treat me like i'm stupid. Anyway, the ultrasound showed that i was 4 1/2 to 5 weeks along, and we could see the yolk sak but no baby yet. He said it was too early, and that he'd like to be able to see the baby by next week, so I have another appointment this Tuesday... he had some blood work done on me to test my hcg hormone levels and make sure they are still going up, and progesterone, too. I am worried mostly about the fever that came with the infection, because high temperatures like fevers and hot tubs during the time when the spine is forming (weeks 4 and 5! rrrggg) is linked to spina bifida, my worst fear! aahhh. I'm so frustrated. I just want everything to be ok. Seth and I had lots of time to talk when i was in the ER. we decided that this must just be a test of our faith and that all we can do is put our complete trust in the only One who can do anything about this, anyway! God. I told him that if satan can ask God to sift us as wheat, we can ask Him not to, right?? well, we will know more on Tuesday. pray for us!