Tips and Tools Tuesday -- Toddlers

I've been reading Toddler Wise, and have gained some great insights into routines, moral training, and potty training. Potty training is what I need the most help with, since we never went through this with James, and it is knocking at my door for Josiah. I think I'm going to leave that topic completely out of this post, since I really have no clue. Maybe some of you could give me some insight!!

I highly recommend Toddler Wise. It will help you figure out WHY you are doing what you are doing in your discipline strategies with your toddler, and help you to set up the right boundaries and expectations for them to keep them safe, teach them self-control, and maintain peace in your home.

Another parenting series that I really like is called Parenting with Love and Logic. I was first introduced to it in my training to be a teacher, because Love and Logic has a series for teachers as well. Then I discovered that they have the same series for parents. It is not a "Christian" series, but I haven't been able to find anything that is contradictory to what the bible teaches on child-rearing. To sum it up in a nutshell, Love and Logic teaches parents how to guide children toward making right decisions in a way that doesn't allow for power struggles or battles of the will between parent and child. It helps you to be calm and confident in your parenting, and gives you tools for steering away from yelling, frustration, and exhaustion in your parenting. Tools that I need to be reminded of often!! Another thing Love and Logic does is it gives you tools for helping your children to think through their own decisions and the consequences that might follow, so that they become good decision-makers, rather than just responders. It's a really good series. They have one book that is specifically for parenting birth to six year old children.

Products that I love for toddlers:

• These Snack Cups to prevent spills in the car, etc.
• This rubber place-mat for easy clean-up at restaurants, etc.
• The No Throw - every toddler is inherently a thrower. we wish they weren't, but they are. this product will prevent sippys from ending up on the floor - or worse, hitting some stranger in the face, when you're out and about!

Random Tips:

1. Skip the toddler bed - go straight for a twin. An 18-24 month old who is learning to sleep in a "big kid" bed can easily learn to sleep in a twin, in my opinion. Josiah learned in about one week, and he only fell out of the bed once - the first night. If you are worried about them falling out, you can get one of those little side-rail things (but I tried one of those once with James, and pretty much hated it... so I just let him learn the hard way. I know, I'm kinda a mean mommy....)

With James, we put a twin-sized mattress directly on the floor for several weeks so that he could get a feel for where the edge of the bed was. He fell off several times, but it was only like a 6 inch fall, so it didn't even come close to hurting him. By the time we put the mattress up onto the bed frame, he was skilled at staying in the bed.

Skipping the toddler bed saves time and money. A twin-sized bed will last your child several years, maybe even their entire childhood at home! A toddler bed will not last that long, as they will quickly outgrow it.. and I really don't see any reason for it at all.

2. Skip the traditional high-chair. Remember what I said in the pregnancy and newborn post about these awesome space-saver high chairs? Well, here it is coming up again, because toddlers can use them as booster-seats without the tray, and sit up to your regular table with you, when they are ready. They outgrow regular high-chairs quickly, but they will use these space-savers for a long, long time. This way you won't have to buy both a high-chair AND a booster seat, and you will be minimizing your tendency to trip over baby equipment every ten seconds!!

3. One trick that has worked for us with Josiah is using blue painter's tape on the hard-wood floor (I suppose you could use it on carpet, too?) in order to place a clear boundary for him not to cross into a certain room or section of the house that is off limits. We started this when I found Josiah at my feet every time I was working in the kitchen, and I was tripping over him. He was going in and turning the stove knobs just enough to let gas out, but no flame... he was getting into cupboards and finding cheese-graters, glass bowls, and the like... The kitchen was becoming a dangerous place for him to be, and Seth realized that there was no reason that he should ever be in there! So, he invented THE BLUE LINE.

If you don't have a baby gate that will fit a certain area, or you just want it to be quick, or temporary, then the blue tape will work with a toddler who is old enough to be taught what it means. So, one big rule in our house has become, don't cross the blue line!

4. Toddlers love to be helpers. They get sooooo proud of themselves!!! Give your child a "job" to do, and watch how he magically transforms his behavior and attitude in one millisecond. I have been truly amazed by this!! I wonder how long this loving-his-chores-thing is going to last...........?

5. Skip the diaper-bag... Ok, not really.... but I use a small diaper bag, and then keep another "kid-kit" in the car at all times. I have a car-organizer-thing that looks kinda like this (but I want to upgrade to this one). This way, if you forget to stock your diaper bag with snacks, diapers, sippy-cups, etc. - you will already have a spare in your car! Seems like I'm always using up what is in the diaper bag, and then I find myself out-and-about without the things we need! Besides, who wants to lug around a huge bag with all of this stuff in it, when really all you need to bring in with you (wherever you are going) is ONE diaper, a slim pack of wipes, and maybe a snack cup or toy or something?

Here's a list of things to keep in the kid-kit for your car:

• sippy-cup
• juice boxes and water-bottles
  
• snack cup (like the one above, with the slotted lid)
• snacks (like apples, raisins, a box of crackers, or fruit snacks)
  
• diapers and wipes
• anti-bacterial hand and face wipes
• plastic grocery bag (for trash)
• spare change of clothes and shoes for your child
• spare sweater or jacket (in the winter)
• spare swimsuit, swim-diaper, and sunscreen (in the summer)
• small books and hand-held toys

6. The "Time-Out Towel" -- This idea was taken from my friend Erika, who uses a normal household towel as a place for her girls to have a time-out when they have misbehaved. She says it is great because you can take a simple towel with you wherever you go, and it is a consistent thing that even small children can understand the meaning of -- and learn to stay on.

My mom says she heard that you can use a "one minute for each year of the child's age" rule -- meaning that the time-out should last about one minute for each year that the child is -- for example, a two-year-old should have two minute time-outs. She says that she's not sure it would work for every child -- it depends on the child. But this is true for any "formula" -- it's more of a guideline -- not a hard, fast rule. However, it sounds about right to me... Two minutes doesn't seem like a very long time, but it will seem like an eternity to your little one, and the "cause and effect" factor will still be taught. Some children might need a shorter or longer period of time, though. Long enough for it to "hurt," but not so long that they forget why they're in time-out in the first place!

When your child seems to be outgrowing the time-out towel, or they seem to find something to look at or play with while they are in time-out, you can move on to Seth's method that we learned from observing our neighbors -- forehead-to-the-wall. But a word of warning -- I have to say, it is extremely CUTE to watch Josiah stand up to the wall with his forehead sticking there. It's hard not to laugh!! Good thing he can't see us! ;)

7. Speaking of my mom, she also gave me this advice for organizing kids' toys and things:

"See- through plastic containers make you feel more in control, and you don't have to wonder what is stored in them. Keeping childrens' toys that have small parts and assembly like puzzles, blocks, etc.....up high, and getting them out only on special occasions, is better than having them mixed in with the rest of the toys. If you have the luxury of a hall closet that could be dedicated to storage for these type of things...or a corner of some shelving somewhere in a different part of the house."

I have definitely found this to be true. Toys with small parts, or games that you need to help you child play with, should be kept out of reach, and they can be used during specific times that you control. Otherwise, the parts will be lost or destroyed in a hurry! I have these types of things in fabric bins on the top shelf in their bedroom closet, but I think I will take her advice and get some plastic see-through ones. That way they won't be forgotten about until the kids are twelve years old!!! hahah!!

Speaking of plastic bins, I also love those ones that have drawers. You can find them in almost any size you need, to fit inside the kids' closets, or inside almost any piece of household furniture that you want to repurpose as a "dresser" or toy storage area. I have done this in all of the kids' rooms, as well as in my own closet.

You can also rotate your kids' toys. If your family is like ours, and as it grows, you might find yourself overwhelmed with too many toys. You can put some of them away in the garage, and rotate them every month or every so often. That way, you won't be overwhelmed inside the house with too many toys, AND your children will stay interested in their toys, because they will have "new" ones every month!!

8. Check out Focus on the Family's website for solid bible-based information and advice about parenting (and other topics, like marriage).