I spent the last two days with the sweetest, most joyful and adorable four-month-old little love in the whole wide world! We went to Roseville by ourselves, and had a MUCH needed time-out from the day-to-day. Do you know that you can make this baby LAUGH like any time you try!? I can barely stand the cuteness!

I have decided that I really need to do this "vacation by myself thing" WAY more often! I get to go where I want, when I want...and eat what I want, when I want. I have to say that it sure is nice to NOT have to consider everyone else for once. It is nice to let my mind wander.. and just think about whatever comes to mind, and talk to God about some of it, without all the millions of distractions and demands that are usually there.

Oh, I SOOOOO needed this time away.

James' transition to kindergarten has been more difficult than I had anticipated. I knew that it was going to be rough, but I didn't know we would run into SO many small problems... which add up to one big headache for this momma!!

But despite the challenges, James is enjoying school. He is adjusting well to the new classroom and campus. He is making friends, participating, and handling his days with less fatigue than I would have expected. And that is really what counts. So, overall, I am happy. 

My extreme preoccupation with James' school transition and g-tube placement has affected Josiah negatively. He had been making progress and mellowing out a little, and then suddenly he became an attention-seeker by constantly getting into things, making mischief, and disobeying.Did I mention that it is CONSTANT? He has made me SOOOOOO tired lately. 

Although my initial reaction was to RUN -- to try and get away from him as often as I possibly could, I realized after spending a whole day with just him and Caleb last Saturday, that he needed a little of his mommy's undivided. So after my mom gave me an overnight break from him, I decided to leave our schedule as open as I possibly could, and just stay with him last week. And that's what I did. I took him to the park; I took him to the fountain; I observed him and learned about him. I gave him directions and followed through on consequences - as calmly as I could - when he acted out.

But on Friday I was still discouraged because he had seemed to make absolutely no progress, and I was more tired than ever.

I am hoping that this vacation will help me to set the "reset button" - and be able to come back to everything with a renewed strength.

I looked into preschools for Josiah the other day, even though he is not yet three... AND not potty trained! I didn't think I would find anything, because I wanted to find one that would take him only one or two half-days per week, one that would take non-potty-trained two-year-old with TONS of energy... and one that would be affordable for us.

I called around. Most places want the child to be three, or at least potty-trained. Or they are too expensive. Or they are just a daycare, and don't really offer a preschool program... Or they want a parent to work in the class on a regular basis (which I can't do right now).

I decided to call the Our Savior Lutheran church, since that is where Nathaniel Savage went after I quit teaching preschool. I didn't really know exactly what "Lutheran" meant, so I checked out the church's website and read all about their beliefs and doctrine. There was not ONE thing that I disagreed with, so I felt comfortable giving them a call.

They are open to having Josiah just one half-day a week, which is what I want to start with, to see how he does. The half-day goes from 7am-12:30pm, but you can bring the child anytime within those hours. They do their preschool program from 9am until 12 noon. Their prices are affordable. It is ok that he is not quite potty-trained, but it will just be a little more expensive until he is.

On Friday, Seth got home from work early, and we got to sit out on the Oma swing for a few minutes together. (That was a rare event in this home!!) So I told him what I had found out, and asked him about it. He was totally excited and open to it, and encouraged me to even consider doing TWO half-days per week, instead of just one. 

It gets better.

I have thought about this before, but I have a hard time justifying the cost of daycare or preschool for such a young child, because my job is to be a stay-at-home-mommy, and I do take that job very seriously, but it sure doesn't bring in any income! So, it's hard to think of spend money on this.

But two things help me to understand the value of it. The first is that Josiah really does need to learn how to act appropriately around other kids. He is usually just with me or my mom, and his brothers... but they are not really his peers. And when I do watch him around his peers, he's.... well, he's a bully... to tell you the truth!

So this will be good for him to be around other kids.

And the other thing is that I am going to be a much, MUCH better momma to him in every way after having this little separation time from him each week! And THAT is a fact!!

So, it was decided... I came to terms with my reasons, and Seth was on board. So I made an appointment to go check the place out on Monday.

And THEN - Seth talked to his mom, and she offered to pay his tuition to preschool for SEVERAL months!!! It was such a sweet surprise!

I am SO excited!

This is exactly what we all need. A little structure. A little time away from each other. A little more one-on-one time with my sweet baby. Time to think. Time to learn how to get along well with others! He he.

And yes, I meant him.... OKAY, and me, too   ;)